Monday, February 27, 2012

I watched the saddest movie I had ever watched yesterday. Felt like crying during those tear-jerking scenes but i didn't, I just sniffed and watched with a sad face.
In case you're wondering what movie it was, I watched Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close.
It was about a boy named Oscar with Asperger syndrome and his journey of accepting the death of his father whom had died falling to his death during the 9-11 world trade center collapse.

The events that unfold after his father's death; of Oscar pursuing his quest for an answer to his death and to extend memories of him really touched me. I'm reminded of how we sometimes persevere so much to have a glimmer of hope.
The frustration and anger he experienced, especially the scene where he recounted his journey to the Renter, was also somehow felt by me, myself.
In the end, Oscar has to accept the reality of his father's death and it was a somewhat bittersweet ending.



The movie also somehow reminded me of my late Grandma, passed away a few years ago.
I was reminded of how i could not come to terms with her death and how i regretted not spending more time with her. I was depressed then, for about a week or so, shedding an odd tear when i thought of her. Eventually I came to terms with it, that "Death is but another stage of a human life" and although Grandma is gone, she'll always be remembered by her loved ones.
Hmm...this reminds me of a quote in one of Mitch Albom's books:
When someone is in your heart, they're never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times.


I can't forget this painful feeling, of losing someone close.



Okay, here's a gem from Reddit. I thought it might be meaningful to blog this down.
By GenericOnlineName:

Sometimes a simple mind can be the greatest pleasure.

Sometimes I would rather just not face the harsh realities of the world and just have simple thoughts gracing my minds. Being able to go through a whole day with the only worry is that I won't be able to eat a fourth time during the day, and being able to focus on simple pleasures such as sleeping, playing and eating.

Who knows-- maybe these animals we see as dumb could be the exact opposite. Maybe we're the dumb ones?



Sometimes I may think of myself as an animal, with no feelings, being only able to think about simple thoughts. Would it be better? I don't have to feel hurt or loneliness, disgust or hatred.

It must be wonderful being able to live each day in perfect ignorance.

Then again, I won't feel happiness or pride, empathy or affection.

To be human is to feel. To feel

Affection

Anger

Angst

Anguish

Annoyance

Anxiety

Apathy

Arousal

Awe

Boldness

Boredom

Contempt

Contentment

Curiosity

Depression

Desire

Despair

Disappointment

Disgust

Dread

Ecstasy

Embarrassment

Envy

Euphoria

Excitement

Fear

Fearlessness

Frustration

Gratitude

Grief

Guilt

Happiness

Hatred

Hope

Horror

Hostility

Hurt

Hysteria

Indifference

Interest

Jealousy

Joy

Loathing

Loneliness

Love

Lust

Misery

Panic

Passion

Pity

Pleasure

Pride

Rage

Regret

Remorse

Sadness

Satisfaction

Shame

Shock

Shyness

Sorrow

Suffering

Surprise

Terror

Wonder

Worry

Zeal

Zest


All this feelings. We feel them because we are human. I don't think I could ever wish myself hard enough to be an animal.
Everyday is unique for me, because I am human, and i treasure this very much.







signing off.

Call Of The Wild at 8:45 PM

Thursday, February 09, 2012

So today, I shall be recounting my experiences for the past week. I hope to be able to blog twice a week because I feel the urge to record this really unique stage of my life. hah
Everyday brings a host of new surprises.

Monday:
Felt like Garfield. I went to work grumpy because I slept late. I had enjoyed the weekends immensely, watched Journey 2 with my friends and even slept away most of my Sundays.
Still recoiling from 'weekend withdrawal' I stepped into the usual crowded train and sped off to Bishan.
I got to the office exactly 5 minutes early and settled down comfortably in the chair in the meeting room where I always do my tasks. Then Boss walks in out of the blue and tells me that there was free nasi lemak in the upper unit and told all of us to help ourselves! I really really like nasi lemak :D and that was all i could remember about that Monday. I even ate it for lunch because there was so much leftover.
The tasks that day was as usual, mundane. 'Office work is like that', says my cousin, aunties as well as my Mom.
Nasi lemak Monday~

Tuesday:
I often board the train at peak hour. I understand that there will be inevitable contact of skin between commuters. That's why I always try to minimise the space I occupy, as much as possible, by folding my arms. Apparently, the train was so crowded I could not even fold my arms but lay them pressed, hard, against my sides.
I tucked my shirt out that day, because I want to look a little more casual. My butt does not help me because it puffs up the back of my shirt.
I went to work, i got a surprise, actually the element of surprise has already worn off a bit because I was kind off expecting such things to happen already. Free breakfast at the upper unit :D once again~
Me and my happy co-workers bounced to the lift lobby and made our way to the 5th floor.
I am seriously considering to work here. Good food makes me happy. But this lifestyle is not doing me any good.
eat sit eat sit EAT SIT EAT SIT, it makes you put on the kilos... I planned to go running today, but not before eating a plateful of spaghetti with spiced sausages and curry puff.
My female malay co-workers ate lunch in the same meeting room as me, so while i worked, they chatted. Today their conversation drifted to how older women experience less sensitivity at their g-spot and how this greatly decreases their ability to orgasm. They spoke a mix of English and Malay language so I could understand parts of their conversation... but i tried to be as blur as possible and be really REALLY NAIVE.
Then one of them attempted to simulate the sounds produced by an old woman having an orgasm.
They laughed.
I LAUGHED.
They stared at me...

WHY DID I LAUGH!!! WHY DID I HAVE TO LAUGH!!!
Then they came to a conclusion that all guys my age are sexperts and already know such things...
THE THINGS I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE....
I had to supervise the printer maintenance guy for over an hour today, seems that the printer is working fine but the problem lies with the printer driver in the office computers.
That night, I ran along the connector from Punggol park to the red bridge at Lorong Halus and back again. Seems that my stamina has increased a bit because I didn't become as fatigued as before. A distance of 7km in under an hour is not bad for a starter like me, I hope to run a marathon in future and i hope to be able to blog this down too!
Reached home feeling fatigued and played dota as usual with buddies.

Wednesday(which was yesterday):
No free food today! But i bought roast chicken rice from S11, a nearby food court. It was simply divine. Was BUSY that morning because I got overwhelmed with requests from agents asking to collect their pay-cheque. I was still arranging the cheques in alphabetical order when they rushed into the meeting room in a horde. Okay... maybe i was exaggerating a bit but you get the point.
I supervised the maintenance guy today, a co-worker of the one that came the previous day. Both had to use the toilet for 15mins when they reached the upper floor. So I waited, patiently.
This guy did his work well and downloaded the driver, installed it and solved the problem. Tried to strike up a conversation with him about the networking problem and he proceeded to correct me on my use of lingo. oops...
Went back to my tasks later and day ended as usual.
I took the train back like every other day. It was an awkward ride. My emphasis on the word awkward because that was how i felt throughout the whole journey. Reason: A guy around my age is staring at my chest. I'm a straight 18 going 19 years old guy wearing a polo shirt. Having another guy occasionally glance sideways and look at my upper front body makes me feel uneasy. No offense.
Told my meimei when I got home and she laughed at me.
okayface.jpg


Thursday(today):
Tried saying Good morning! to the 'Very much unsociable towards me and talks seldom' co-worker but she seemed to ignore it so my greeting drifted off and became inaudible.
Like: GOOD Morning!!...
I collected my 303 stamps today to paste on 303 envelopes to mail out 303 cheques for 303 agents. Remember the ones where the address was written in the wrong format? Yes, all 303 of them. Went to buy tom yum beehoon for lunch and saw big big Big Biggest Boss eating the same thing I was ordering. I ate in the meeting room with my co-workers and sweated a lot because the tom yum was so spicy but oh so really yummy. I did filing all day after lunch.
Auntie Joy was so nice to buy me milk tea for tea break! It was a joy to sip on this quenching beverage while doing filing which is so monotonous.
end work, walk home. AND HEY! I met Mrs Nathan, my former Sec 4 Math teacher and said Hello! She gave a surprised look and siad hello back, but we couldn't say much since we were crossing the road. I wore work clothes so she may not have recognised me...

so there, that's my week so far...
I'm looking forward to Friday!!!






signing off.

Call Of The Wild at 8:06 PM